Sunday, November 3, 2013


Marriage Isn’t For You

Kim and I
Kim and I
Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.
Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raisethem? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make herhappy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.
My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”
Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.
But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.
Marriage is about family.
I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.
To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.
And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.
Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Who Hijacked my Fairy Tale?

Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale?

Life is not a fairy tale - it doesn't go the way we think it will - we hit potholes along the yellow brick road of life.

Kelly Swanson helps bust the myths about the fairy tale you might be carrying around and tells us what to do instead. There are three major myths that we buy into after listening to fairy tales during our childhood.

1. Myth Number 1: That we are at the mercy of the wicked witch/fairy godmother/or a charming prince riding up on a white horse to save you. Or that our life is this way because we didn't have, because we didn't get, because nobody ever……the excuses we let hold us captive.
Truth: Life is not what happens to us - but the story we write with the things that happen to us. We are not the reader of our fairy tale - we are the author. And only until you acknowledge that you are the only thing you can control in your life - will you be able to write a new story.
SEE what it is you want. In detail. Many of us know we don't like the life we have - but we don't have a clear idea - or vision - of the life we want. And we wonder why we don't get it, when we aren't really sure what "it" even is!
2. Myth Number 2: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. We look in the mirror to tell us who we are. We think we're supposed to look like the women in the movies, the princess of the fairy tale or that our house is supposed to be spotless, like in the commercials.
Truth: You are not here to fit the world's definition of who you should be. Stop looking around. It's not about the package - or the money - or the stuff - or who feeds their kids better. It's about YOU, and knowing that you are good enough - without needing the world's approval.
BELIEVE - You are stronger than you think - braver - more treasured - more valuable - if you're still here you aren't done yet. The mind is powerful - and you will believe what it tells you. So if you tell yourself you can't do it, you're right.
3. Myth Number 3: We need to wait for someone to come save us and help us out in one pretty little easy magic step. In the fairy tales, someone comes to the rescue and the problem is solved in one step and you're at the happily ever after. They don't tell you about that next chapter, where the honeymoon has ended, real life has set in, and suddenly you're getting a good idea of what forever's gonna' feel like.
Truth: It's not easy. There are no shortcuts, big breaks, or other people who are responsible for making your life work. It takes a plan. A failure to plan is a plan to fail.
DO - Write down the plan - the vision - and the steps you will take to get there. Take those big pieces and turn them into tiny bite-sized pieces - turn the "I can't do that" into "but I can do this." I can't run a marathon, but I can park farther away in the parking lots to get more exercise. I can't take a weekend off for myself, but I can take thirty minutes a day. I can't write a book - but I can write a chapter.
Make yourself want it bad enough. Motivation can't come from outside - it has to come from within. And you will hit that moment when the excitement fades and you are worn out again. And it's up to you to rewrite that story. Don't be scared. Fear is just another story you write. Change it.

You can learn more about Kelly at her website,

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

More Prom

 Carlie did a great job on Rylie's up do.
 Beautiful picture Jessie took

Jorgan's Uncle owns this Limo. It was so fun for Rylie. She had the best time.

Day date for Rylie's Prom

Jorgan Rasmussen and Rylie

For Rylie's day date they went up the canyon on tandem bikes and roasted hot dogs. Rylie really enjoy the date. Thanks Jorgan for always treating Rylie so good.

Rylie Sr. Prom 2013 OHS

Rylie and Jorgan Rasmuseen. OHS Sr. Prom. Rylie felt like a princess. Rylie, Jessie, Norah, Clayton and I went shopping for Rylie's dress. Rylie found this dress at the first shop we went to. I said "let keep shopping to make sure". Ten hours later this was still the dress she wanted. It was stunning on her. Thank you Jessie for coming with us. It was so fun.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Be Grateful!!

When we start to recognize all the things we have to be grateful for in our lives, we can’t help but be happy. The moment we begin to count our blessings, everything becomes a bonus instead of an expectation.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Happy 20th birthday to our Carlie Carlie

Happy birthday sweet Carlie. I am so glad we share the same birthday with you. I prayed and fasted for many years for you to come into my life. Then when I found out I was pregnant with you. I went to my Heavenly Father and poured out my heart to him with tears of JOY!! Then to find out you were due on my birthday was even a greater blessing. Then you were born on your due date. YES the best birthday gift EVER!! You have always been a joy and a blessing to me. You have many gifts and talents. I am so proud of the beautiful young lady you have become. Strong willed and always wanting to do what is right.  A friend to all. You are such a fun Aunt and love your Norah and Clayton. Amazing at doing hair. So proud of you and my hair has never looked better. I miss you everyday. Love you tons. Mom

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

More pictures of our girls trip to Las Vegas

 We saw a real Mermaid 
 My sisters and I

Taylor and Chelsea 

Updated my home

 Living room
Family room

I love color!! I just wanted a little update in my home so I had my friend Lindy Allen (who owns Four Chairs Furniture) come with a few new thing. I love what we did. Thanks Lindy 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Stephanie Nelson Nie Nie

I was at Harmon's on Monday. As I was walking out of the store NieNie was walking in. I couldn't help myself. I introduced myself and give her a hug. I told her I read her book and how much she has touched my life. I wish I had my phone so I could of taken a picture of us together. Have you read her book? Amazing lady. I cried today after I came home and told Scott. 
Check out her blog

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Donny and Marie

We had a great time at the Donny & Marie show. We loved it. Carlie and I think Donny was amazing. What I would say is that "Donny Rocks"